Do You Find It Funny When I Say Biggus Dickus

Now, come across: I can tell what you are thinking already, and that's but non where I'1000 going here.

For those who saw Monty Python'southward "Life of Brian", the Biggus Dickus scene was one of the classic fix pieces, often recited in total at loftier speed by geeks like sure philosophy professors.

There was this 1 scene....you know the ane. Recollect this, with Pilate proverb Roman names and the baby-sit trying not to laugh?

Here is an excerpt from the script (scene 12):

PILATE: And so, your father was a Woman. Who was he?
BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
PILATE: Weally? What was his proper name? BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.
CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!
PILATE: Centuwion, practice nosotros have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
CENTURION: Well, no, sir.
PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think information technology's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir. GUARD #4: [chuckling]
PILATE: What'south and then... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
CENTURION: Well, information technology'southward a joke name, sir.
PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
GUARD #iv: [chuckling]
PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will detect yourself in gladiator schoolhouse vewy quickly with wotten behaviour similar that.

The fact is, situations like this happen all the time in marriage. Your wife is Pilate (if you lot don't understand that, yous take BIGGUS PROBLEMUS). And you lot are Guard #4. You must not laugh, or reveal by facial expression that...well, consider ii recent examples at the Munger firm. (These are both verbatim truth, by the fashion).

1. My wife: "I saw Eric Clapton is going to be at the RBC Heart in October. Do y'all think the boys (our sons) would like to become? I don't know if they know who Eric Clapton is."

Me: "Well, they similar that 'Cream' album a lot. They listen to that all the time."

My wife: "Oh, is Cream playing also?"

Alarm!! WARNING!!
BIGGUSDICKUSALERTBIGGUSDICKUSALERT!!

Fortunately, I was driving, so I had an alibi to check the left mirror. For about 30 seconds. But you can't just exit the question hanging. "Well, Clapton played with Cream, and sang some."

Crisis averted!

The betoken is that, when yous are about to burst out laughing, inappropriately, since information technology would outcome in you becoming abstinent for a week or more than, just say to yourself, "BIGGUSDICKUSBIGGUSDICKUSBIGGUSDICKUS!!", and you will avoiding having to go to gladiator school.

2. All correct, and so at that place's the primary threat averted. But you lot have to be enlightened that you aren't out of the forest all the same. Yous have to be on the lookout for the Mortiferous TOPPER! Consider what Pilate said next, in the same scene:

PILATE: What about y'all? Practice you find it... wisible... when I say the proper name...
'Biggus'...
Guard #iii:[chuckle]
PILATE: ...'Dickus'?
GUARD #i and GUARD #ii: [chuckling]
PILATE: He has a married woman, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
GUARDS: [laughing] (SENT TO GLADIATOR SCHOOL! DOOMED! DON'T LAUGH!)

Then, let'south illustrate the deadly topper. Another incident (also reported verbatim). Let'southward meet how Y'all do.

My wife comes downstairs in the morning, looking tired. Fortunately, I have made the tea. She gets some tea, and sighs, obviously upset. "I hardly slept. I had the worst dream." She looks at me, expectantly.

"I'thousand sorry; that's tough when y'all take a scary dream. It's so hard to go back to slumber," I say, smoothly, giving up on reading the newspaper.

Married woman: "Well, I dreamed that I kept going from room to room, looking, looking. I looked in all my closets." (NOTE: non a dream, entirely. She does accept three closets in our house.)

"What was wrong?" I asked.

Nearly crying, she said, "I couldn't notice that cute little black elevation I like so much. I kept looking and looking, but I couldn't detect it. How could I sleep afterwards a dream like that?"

(BIGGUSDICKUS!BIGGUSDICKUS!BIGGUSDICKUS!Written report THE Newspaper!)

Merely, again, you accept to reply. I am barely under control, merely I proceed it together.

"That's a bad dream, when you can't detect something. It is upsetting. I'one thousand distressing, honey."

She is studying my confront attentively, fully aware of her Pilatian power in this instance. Then, the topper (and I am NOT making this up): "Well, I was besides distracted, because I was existence chased by a wild boar. I call back it killed me."

WAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I lose it. And, of form, staying sympathetic through the "I couldn't find the cute black top" tragedy gets y'all no credit, BECAUSE YOU LAUGHED AT THE "I was killed by wild boar" topper. WATCH OUT FOR THE TOPPER.

And, for the next week, move over nice dog. A mean old dog is moving in.

morelandallit1948.blogspot.com

Source: https://mungowitzend.blogspot.com/2006/06/key-to-marriage-just-remember-biggus.html

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